Tumblr Post #15 (June 2017)
I don’t know how many more rough patches I’ll have to endure as I write this novel. And if there are more, hopefully they won’t be as bad as the last one. That was a low point for me and, for the first time, I actually considered giving up on the project completely. Never mind the 35,000 words already written; the story; this blog; my sanity. None of it mattered at that point because I had zero confidence that I would be able to finish this thing, even though I knew it would kill me not to finish.
It was one hell of a mercury retrograde to say the least. But since I’m writing this post now, that means that I haven’t given up. I’m still working to fulfill a lifelong dream. Only this time, I’ve added a few more things to my writing repertoire to prevent myself from ever hitting such a low again.
Back in April, I attended a wellness retreat hosted by HeyFranHey, Maryam Hasnaa, and Yeradmi. If you haven’t heard of this retreat, I implore you to visit their website and start living your best life. The cities on this nationwide tour are already sold out, but there will be opportunities in the future to participate. It was an afternoon of yoga, mindful meditation, deep conversations, and overall good vibes.
In the midst of my retrograde moment, it was at this retreat where the Universe threw me a bone to dig myself out of the hole that I was sitting in. Resting at the base of an altar situated in the center of the room was a deck of goddess cards, face-down. Fran invited all of us to draw one card and meditate on its meaning and what the goddess on the card is trying to tell us.
I chose Hathor.
Or rather, Hathor chose me.
One of the more famous Egyptian goddesses, Hathor represents, among a plethora of things, benevolence, receptivity, feminine energy, and conception. On the card, beneath an artistic recreation of Hathor (depicted as a black woman) was a quote: “Allow yourself to receive. This will increase your intuition, energy, and ability to give to others.”
Receive.
Receive so that you may give abundantly.
The realization of how I could apply this to my own life didn’t hit me right away. I was too jaded by doubt and insecurity to understand what was right in front of me. However, I did leave the retreat open to the idea of receiving whatever the Universe had in store for me.
Some weeks later, as I thumbed through Twitter, I came across an article about a Young Adult Fantasy writer named Tomi Adeyemi who had just struck a multimillion-dollar deal to develop a movie based on her yet-to-be-released debut novel, Children of Blood and Bone.
Tomi is 23 years old.
My initial reaction: “Here’s yet another giant’s success story to make me feel worse than I already do.”
Upon further thought: “Tomi, patron saint of Black Girl Magic, teach me your ways.”
Receive so that you may give abundantly.
After a few Google searches, I learned that Tomi is also a creative writing instructor and has an online course dedicated to teaching enrollees the plot development style that she used to write her own novel.
I viewed the instructional videos.
I thought of Hathor.
I saw the price of the course.
I thought of Hathor.
I enrolled.
I thought of Hathor.
Receive. Receive. Receive. And receive I did. Tomi is giving so that I may receive and be equipped to give my story to the world just as she had. She’s spreading the Good News, really. And I couldn’t be more proud to call her my teacher.
Most importantly, I couldn’t be more proud of myself for climbing out of the hole.
NANCEY B. PRICE 